188. Untitled (xxvi)

As tears fill her eyes,
She looks above and
thinks 'Why?'
'Why couldn't this happen
to somebody -
Anybody?
Why did it have to happen
to me?'
The howling winter wind
outside sends shivers
down her bare spine.
She won't tolerate it though.

She runs outside,
Pushed back by the gust
of cold wind.
The snow blows around
her face,
Her hair covers her face;
She cannot see.
The blizzard consumes her.
She falls to her knees,
Raises her hands high
above her head
Raises her head,
The tears frozen to
her face.

"Why?" she yells aloud.
"Why?" she sobs.

The wind dies down
And the pathway clears.
In the silence she hears -
Why not?
Her body collapses.

The sun warms her face
and dries her tears.
As she awakes
A smile spreads across her face.
'Why not?' she thinks
As she rises and walks
along the green,
green path.

187. Belonging

Standing on the outside,
looking in -
I realize something
does not belong;
Doesn't quite fit in.
An awkward silence fills
the place,
But no one knows why.
They look at each other -
Long gazes - searching
and guessing,
But not really knowing.

I walk in,
Choosing to take a stand -
All eyes fall on me.
I look them all in their eyes -
Challenging them -
Scaring them.

Then I know -
It is I who does not belong.
It is I who shouldn't
be here.
Even on the outside,
I knew,
Sensed it
But didn't want to accept it.

I tried, and I did
not succeed.
I had to back down
But I know that
someday,
Searching -
I shall find, challenge,
succeed
And even belong.

186. Wander

So deep in thought,
I lose myself and am
not sure where
exactly I am.
I know I want to be
far away -
In a land unexplainable
to even me.
My mind wanders to
these fantasy
places -
So surreal and magical
That I can only long
to be there.
I find myself in an
absurd state
Longing for the imagined
and living the real
My mind wanders as I'm
deep in thought,
But it can't help wandering
back to here.

185. Something Missing

'Handle with care' it said -
for she was a fragile one.
'Breakable' it said -
As she was.
Still, he did not heed
And was reckless.

"I'm precious," she thought,
"A diamond in the ruff."
But he did not see.
"Look inside," she said,
"It's so much greater."
But he did not hear.

Careless and thoughtless
he was,
"Be gentle," one said.
But he did not feel.

Now he sits alone,
Full of angst and emotion
But he's too late.
He did not handle with care
And he broke her.
He lost hsi percious diamond,
Only now realizing how great
she truly was.

He is no longer reckless
He now sees and hears
He now feels -
feels the lack of care he
showed long ago,
feels the emotions that
used to be locked
deep inside
Feels the love she didn't
get kill her
And the love he no longer
has kill him.